It pains me to see how sometimes people react to being given feedback relating to their performance at work (and for that matter in other aspects of life!). Let’s be clear at the very start, feedback is worth its weight in gold, and those of us that receive feedback in a positive manner ‘inadvertently’ have a huge advantage over those of us who react badly. The positive recipients will often develop faster and further than the rest. It should also be pointed out that feedback does not (and should not) always relate to commenting upon negative behaviours. It is very much as important to discuss the positive behaviours (and hence encourage the continuance of these) of your team members with a similar emphasis. So what’s usually going on during a feedback moment? BTW it may not be called ‘feedback’ at the time – but we all know it when we see it – if it sounds like feedback, smells like feedback, tastes like feedback… IT’S FEEDBACK!
In this example Martin is the Team Manager and Louise is a member of staff who is, unknowingly, demonstrating a poor behaviour that could potentially impact upon her or the team at some point in the future. Martin’s point of view might be as follows: “I need to make Louise aware of what aspect of her performance she needs to be working upon. If I ignore it, experience tells me that eventually it could be a train crash. I am not going to feel overly comfortable about telling her, but in doing so I am protecting her, or at least giving her the opportunity to protect herself and develop more effectively. I hope when we discuss it that she doesn’t react badly. If she does react badly that could influence how I deliver feedback to her in the future, potentially, in the worst case, to the point that I may have to give up on her and stop giving her feedback altogether. If that happens, then things may not progress anywhere near as well for Louise than what they may have otherwise. If she reacts positively, well that would open the door to me being more willing and accessible to providing all sorts of feedback on how Louise can develop positively and effectively within our team.” Martin then proceeds to deliver the feedback.
From Louise’s perspective, assuming she hasn’t been given any guidance on how to react to feedback (positive or negative), it may feel a bit like: “Here we go, Martin is going to tell me that I have messed up. Doesn’t he know how hard I am working? There are reasons why I did what I did – I have a legitimate excuse for my behaviour. If he thinks I am saying sorry, then he can forget it. I don’t agree with what he is telling me – I am going to argue my point and show him that he isn’t as smart as he thinks he is.” Now the problem with Louise feeling like this is that she isn’t going to develop as a result of the discussion, and she is potentially going to deny herself so many opportunities in the future for guidance and ‘on the job’ self-development. Her state of mind here, is similar to saying to Martin “Back off, don’t tell me how to do my job… etc. ” Imagine what Martin is thinking now.
So how can we turn it into a more positive experience all round. Here are some quick tips (Health Warning: there is a lot to this particular subject and all I am doing here is giving a quick hitting taster!).
– Manager’s perspective: Discuss feedback with your team. Describe what it is and why it is important to them as individuals and the business overall. Allow them to appreciate that every time they are getting feedback (in particular where it is guidance as to how they can improve) they should grab it with both hands and treat it as an opportunity to do better going forward. Tell them that sometimes you may be feeling uncomfortable about the point that is about to be raised, but you are doing this to help them improve and/or for them to be perceived more favourably within the business. Give them tips as to how to react/respond when receiving feedback.
– Employee’s perspective: Listen to the point that is being raised; your boss is almost certainly trying to help you develop positively. Don’t make excuses, or pass the buck, or try to take the conversation towards other unrelated scenarios. If something has gone wrong or could be improved, accept responsibility and take on board the guidance as to how you can make it better next time. If you don’t entirely agree with everything that is being said, don’t kick back. By all means give your perspective, but do this in a very measured way and in a way that still acknowledges and responds positively to the advice you are being given. Say ‘thank you’ – your boss has just spent their valuable time trying to make you a better person for the business. And now comes the good bit: the more you respond positively and say ‘thank you’ etc. the more your boss is hearing, “Can I have some more please?” and the more time they are likely to spend with you giving you even more hints and tips (smells like feedback!) going forward.
In conclusion, as a manager discuss feedback with your team. Give them some easy guidance as to how to receive the feedback and the potential benefits all round. Don’t shy away from then doing it. Yes, it may feel odd at first and uncomfortable at times, but it has to be done, as the alternatives to not doing it can be disastrous all round. Be conscious of your timing of delivery. Pick a good moment to do it, but don’t leave it too long after the event (no more than a day or two, max). And if you are the ‘receiver’? Grab every gold coin that comes your way and from a development point of view you will get rich much faster than Louise ever will.
